meh. i doubt this is any good, but i was bored today.
Strangers to my darker thoughts
Foreign to my colder wishes
Indifferent to the streaks of red
Neglect my silent pain
Dare you look upon me now,
With mocking eyes and sympathy?
You face the spite of a thousand clashes
Previous to your ignorance.
i don't know how to end it, or if i should even continue with it, any advice would be very appreciate. : )Opinions of this poem... advice?? help with ending it...?
You have some good content but flow of words makes for a choppy read. Try the first stanza as this.
Stranger to my darker thoughts
foreign to wishes frozen still
streaks of red breed indifference
as you neglect my silent pain
Most writing that becomes published is writing that goes through editing. Keep writing but spend time to revise. Speak the words to hear meter or flow. It's a great tool in penning poems.
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