Hi i need some advice. How do i help my wife overcome her depression without splitting us apart, as it is now.

It has been going on for a few months and refuses to talk to me about her problems. I love her very much and it hurts me to see her like this but i cant help if she wont let me in. She has mood swings, where she is fine one minute then snaps then goes into her shell and ignores me. I dont like it this way as it feels i have lost the women i married and whom i love, just because she treats me like a stranger. Has anyone gone through this with their partners.Hi i need some advice. How do i help my wife overcome her depression without splitting us apart, as it is now.
Listen to her, and support her. I know it must be really hard on you too. It must be awful to watch the person that you fell in love with disappear. Im sure that your wife doesnt mean to hurt you or treatr you like a stranger, infact she is probably not even aware that she is. If you give her some space when she goes into her shell and wait for her to come back out, that might help. But you also have to be there for her too, just floating about in the background for when she completely needs you. Also try and get her out of the house by going for a walk, a car drive, or a car drive to a nice place and go for a walk. Try to do things together, and I dont mean just watching the telly together! She will get better but you have to be there for help and help her through this, for better for worse, in sickness and in health!Hi i need some advice. How do i help my wife overcome her depression without splitting us apart, as it is now.
you cant help her, she has to do this herself. All you can do is be there when she needs you and trust me she will.


I have suffered from depression myself and my husband just waited until I needed him.


It was 10 years ago and this year we celebrate our 25 wedding anniversary.


Just remember it is not your fault, but it is not hers either.
Oh my god! I'm in the same situation as well! My husband has been to see the Local Mental health team and is going though the process of finding the right medication.


But it is torture to see him so upset and I just can't help because he just won't open up anymore - if you get any really good advice pass it on, please, before my marriage falls to bits.
u know u should just try to talk to her when she is in a good mood start with something positive and go from there
I'm going through that now as we speak. It seems to me that more women then men out there suffer from some sort of depression where they just emotionally shut down. And during this time, we don't want anything to do with you and nothing can get through to us either. I know for me that it only makes me feel worse when my husband tries to help me. I get really defensive and pissed off. And I just want to be left alone in my misery. Something that would work for me and maybe her is to try leaving her notes. She might not listen to you talk to her, but if she knows you care and she can come to you if she wants to , maybe she would do better just knowing you're there for her. The important thing is that you are there for her, thick or thin, better or worse. But try not to harp on her problems because they might cause more.





Other things you could do would be stage an intervention with people that love her. And put together a list of addresses and phone numbers of agencies that would listen to her and help her, if she can't talk to you.





The other thing you could do is pray.
Hi.....this is a tough spot, I gone through it with my last girlfriend, and it did not end with good results........try to watch out for her, as you can......let her know that you love and care for her, and you are there if she needs to talk......if she is receptive, try getting some counseling together.........Being treated as a stranger hurts, I know......also, consider that she may be developing a bi-polar disorder.......
She needs to go to her GP,if she hasn't already, quickly. I know it's hard for you to cope with but she won't be understanding her moods, let alone be able to explain them to someone else. It is a lonely, painful affliction. The most you can do is be there for her and let her know that you are trying to understand and that you will work through it with her. With antidepressants and counselling she will be able to work through it. Hold in there. X x
Is this cronic? does she have a history of depression? it's usually has a family background, she needs to see her family doctor, most depression is easily treated, the hard part is admitting there's a problem and going for that help, you need to stand by her and help when she's ready, let her know in small ways you love her. and you will be there for better or worse...Hang tough you'll make it.
How old is she, could be going through Menopause. Anyways, seems like she needs to be on antidepressants, I would advice you take her to see a doctor.
According to the reading I have done regarding hypoglycemia (low blood sugar) the brain, when it senses that blood sugar is low, will do sometimes strange things to get the blood sugar (glucose) out of storage and into the blood stream. If it can't then it may reduce operations, causing tiredness and possibly depression. If your wife is going through the ';change of life'; or any other major hormonal changes (pregnancy, hysterectomy, etc), then low blood sugar is possibly the cause.





Suggestion? Go to the kitchen and get some protein, meat, a can of tuna or whatever, and see if you can tease her into eating just a bit it. Also have some carbohydrate, like a handful of chips, or some carrots/celery and some nuts or peanut butter, whatever she likes. Try to get her to eat at least 2 ounces of the protein preferably with a glass of water. Then stay away from her for about 30 minutes unless you can get her to do something active, with you or without you. You may find her mood to brighten a bit.





Chronic low blood sugar can also cause self-esteem problems, anger management problems and a whole bunch of other physical and mental nasties. You may want to check out the symptoms link on www.hufa.org, and see how she checks out.
im really sorry to hear that but all i can tell u now is that u need to give her space because the more u hassle her, the more u are gona push her away...
She needs medical help.


One can only guess at what is going on with her. And it wouldn't be right to make suggestions, you'd end up nuts with the worry.


Hope you can get her to the GP.
JUST WONDERIN


HAVE U DONE ANY THING THAT MIGHT HAVE UP SET HER, IF SO WHAT...


IS IT REALY THAT BAD OR, IS SHE DEPRESSED FROM WORK,


IS SHE NOT GETTIN ENUF ATTENTION...


SPEN 2 DAYS IN PARIS, AND U WOULD B LIKE NEWLY WEDDED CUPLES.


AND TRY TO DO SUM SUPRISES, LIKE BRING FLOWER TO HER EVERY 2 DAYS, TO MAKE HER DAY,


TAKE HER FOR DINNER..


BUT WHEN SHE DONT TALK TO U, U DONT TALK TO HER,


WEN SHES IN A GOOD MOOD, U TALK TO HER
I've had the same problems with my missus for 7 years and I haven't found an answer, because she won't accept it's something she needs help with. Good luck. You are not alone but I don't know what the answer is.
I do not have the answer to your question but I want to commend you for your loyalty. Most people today view marriage as something you can throw away at the drop of a hat. So hang in there! And I hope whatever road you choose, It brings you closer together rather than split you two apart.
just support her as much as you can, show her you love her though this may make her feel worse as she may then feel guilty.


try to just love her as she is and if it gets too much go and have councilling yourself to be able to cope with how she is better, which may help he rot move on.


fat is that we all go thrugh these tings sometimes whether male or female and we usually just need time to work something out within oursleves, bit concerned by the seriousness of some of the other replies which may be applicable but try not to get too stressed out by them and what is going on,relax and if she loves you she will come around at some point just give it time.
You just have to be as supportive of her as you can, while still retaining your own identity. You can't solve her problems for her, you just have to show her that no matter what is going on in her life, you will still be there for her.





Reassurance.





When you are depressed, it can feel that the whole world is against you.





Reassurance.





Partners are often left to feel neglected, but at times like these, the partner has to bite the bullet and accept that their needs aren't going to be met by the person suffering. (easier said than done, I know).





Reassurance.





You also need to make sure that you have other interests.


If you become so involved in the problems that your wife is experiencing, that you neglect your other interests, then you become less effective in your abilities to cope, not just for your wife's benefit, but also your own.





Reassurance.





Even if your wife can't talk to you, you need to have someone to talk to for your own benefit.





Reassurance.





There is no guarantee that your wife will see the efforts that you are making, but you still have to make them.





Reassurance.





Have you talked to your own doctor about your feelings and experience? A good idea.





Has she talked to her doctor? A very good idea.


(You can't force this, unless she is so ill, that she is a serious risk to either her own health and wellbeing, or those around her.)





I guess the most important thing is that you give her all the unconditional love and support that she needs.





I wish you both well.





Feel free to contact me via answers if you want me to elaborate any further.
You've taken the first difficult step for yourself, asking for help by putting your question out on the internet.





I think you need to talk to your doctor who will then be able to advise on the best cause of action. Maybe make a joint appointment so that your wife can hear and believe how worried you are about her.





When someone you love is suffering from depression you need to look after yourself as much as you look after your loved one.





If you'd like to read something helpful get a book called ';What to do when someone you love is depressed'; ISBN 080505829X. I'm not the author, just someone who suffers with depression and have found this book has helped me to understand what loved ones go through when I'm depressed.





Take care.
Has she had a psychiatric evaluation. Is there a history of mental illness in her family. Is she old enough to be a candidate for dementia?
give here some space shele come and tell you whats rong
The simple answer is that you cant help her until she asks you for help. Sometimes with depression the person cant talk about it because they really dont know why they feel like that. they haven't suffered in any way or lost anything but just feel like they have this huge crushing weight on them.





Just be there for her when she needs you but dont be intrusive. give her her space and develop your own life and interests so that she doesn't drag you into her misery. Sounds harsh but when she needs pulled out she will need both of your feet to be on dry land or you may both drown in her depression.





Also, try counselling, if she wont go, go yourself, its your life to and you need support to get you through it. good luck!