I love my guy, but he's abusive(both ways). I need advice on how to leave him, but I'm scared, please help.?

I know I seem stupid for staying in for three years,please don't judge me (he's been abusive for the past 8 mon) but I love him, and I feel like nobody else will understand me the way he does, love me the way he does. I feel trapped and scared. Any suggestions?I love my guy, but he's abusive(both ways). I need advice on how to leave him, but I'm scared, please help.?
ok do not call ur self stupid,


you leave when he is not there,go to a shelter do not look back. do not feel sorry for him , u say he understands u sweetie if he did don't u think he would know he is hurting u, sweetie u love him cause he is all u know . he is not and will not change, he will beg , and plead he will tell you he is sorry he won't do it again. that is bull they all say that.


Tell me do u have any close friends left,


How often do u c ur family. u probally don't much cause he has pulled u away from every one. cause he said he needs u there for him.


he don't want u to work cause u may find another .


tell me do u feel like if maybe you could do something right for once he will love u more and stop,


he is not will not. leave t.m . when he is work grab, clothes kids ,and what ever any money go.


do not worry about big things just go , and get to your local women's shelter they will help u from there, do not call friends or family , u can put ur life at risk if u do. once u do this do not go back he may kill u. sweetie they don't change I swear they don't just leave.I love my guy, but he's abusive(both ways). I need advice on how to leave him, but I'm scared, please help.?
Don't feel stupid, leaving isn't an easy thing to do. No one deserves to be abused. If you feel that you are not safe then it may be best to leave. Even though you love him, how could he love you if he treats you that way. You can go to your local court and file a temporary order of protection, restraining order, against him, This will help you to get out safely. The police can even help you leave or help you get him out. There is someone else out there, it seems like there isn't and this could be very difficult to get over. But you deserve a guy who will treat you right. Everyone deserves to feel safe and to be safe.
First off you need some support on your side. If you are worried he will hurt you physically then they you need to call the police non emergency # and they should be able to refer you to a shelter. If it is mostly mental abuse then have a strong friend who is able to defend you (in case he shows up) and help you pack up when he is at work so you don't get abused even more. Of course you feel trapped thats normal in a situation like this he is making you feel this way so you don't leave him. People can play mind games and turn things around and make you feel like the one causing the harm. After leaving if you feel you need to discuss the end to the relationship with him make sure you have support around you. This is not love if he is hurting you this way it's an illusion of love. I know it hurts but please... Find help quickly.
Honey, you've got to get OUT of there %26amp; NOW. I've been involved w/abuse %26amp; domestic violence. It is only going to get much WORSE as time goes by. Please trust me on this. There is something deep inside an abuser that makes them the way they are. Most of it started when they were younger %26amp; it just keeps boiling inside of them %26amp; they take it out on you. You're the closest one to them, that's why it's you who suffers. It's called ';displaced anger';. The ONLY thing that w/make it better is for them to get good professional help w/anger management, %26amp; it's NOT going to happen over nite. I would highly suggest you get a restraining order taken out against him which would protect you from him coming near you or contacting you in any way. IF he does, you have the law to protect you, %26amp; they WILL. Please do NOT take a chance of getting hurt badly one of these times or WORSE. YES, I DO mean it. You think it's bad now, don't wait around to see that I was rite %26amp; it does get worse %26amp; you get hurt badly. Go to the police %26amp; get that restraining order ASAP. You NEED to be protected, this is the ONLY WAY to do it. You have to take care of you, no one else is going to...all the best to you, %26amp; DO IT, you CAN...:)
Im sorry but he abuses you why are you still there? I also must agree with jordan this is not something i understand.


He can not love you and then abuse you, he wants to control you, that isnt love. Unless you want to be in a position where its too late to save yourself you need to get your family and friends( if he hasnt shut you off from your friends, family will always be there) involved so they can help you move out and away from this guy and then you need to report him to the police, because once your gone if you dont he will just move on and abuse another woman. Your family will support you. There are also womens shelters for exactly this purpose. Dont let it continue, know that you deserve better, know that no man has a right to abuse you in any way shape or form.


No one that truly loves you could do what he is doing and I know deep down you know it too you just want to believe that he loves you, he doesnt and he isnt protecting you and it isnt for your own good. Get help and get out..sooner before you have no later.


I hope this was helpful and you pay attention to what ive told you. Good luck you deserve a better life than the one you are living right now.
Ok I'm a woman who has been through a abusive marriage myself.


and all I can say to you is anyone that has never lived through it won't understand what it does to you.My thing was he would threaten me with my mom and two younger brothers. I was young and stupid and I now regret it everyday of my life for not leaving sooner than I did.If you truly want out which I suggest you do ASAP.forget the OP and restraining orders they are only papers it don't stop them but go to your local police get a officer and have him there with you grab only the things you need and your childrens things and go to a battered womens home.Do this imeadiately or you could end up like me with one of your children laying to rest in a cemetary and feeling guilt for not leaving just a few months earlier.GET OUT NOW !!!





CC
Love you the way he does? He's abusive! What part of hurt don't you understand? He doesn't know how to love. Get out while your still in one piece and find someone that knows how to love and treat you right. Apparently you haven't experienced real love yet. If you had, you would know that being with someone that disrespects you by verbal and physical abuse...is not love. You are missing out on something truly beautiful. Give yourself a chance to be happy, you deserve it. RUN...and don't ever look back.
Honey, if this character understood you and loved you, he wouldn't be abusive to you. Unless that's what you want. Is that what you want? I didn't think so. So, he doesn't really understand you or really love you, now does he? So why are you staying? Girl, love is not an excuse for everything.
leave him but when walking out the door, do not say its best I not see you for a while, because what he will do then is punch you in the eyes to cause swellin so that you are not able to see him for a while, find someone who will hide you for a few months until you can figure things out, you have to get away, no more punching bag
You don't put up a post like this and then ask people not to judge you. Seems like abused women always love their abusers....it's a concept I am unable to grasp. If you fear for your life, then get an order of protection from the court (not a restraining order....that's different). The quick answer is just to leave. Of course, you have made a confusing statement in ';I feel trapped';...with no details, who can advise you?
I thought love wasn't suppose to hurt is that the way you like to be loved, how is he understanding you by beating you, my suggestion is leave get out no one needs that and you have choices do whatever it takes, love yourself enough to, he has lowered your self-esteem you can always do better.
If you don't leave like a smart woman, you'll seem even more stupid.





Jordan's response is the best anyone could give, really. I'll never understand it, either.
You are to good for that! maybe get a restraining order... or maybe just leave when he is not around and go somewhere he can find you.
*** home with a fresh load on your face..
i had a dog once loved him to death. bit me and hurt my hand . i had a dog once!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!